POLITICAL SATIRE

LET'S VOTE FOR INDEPENDENCE!!
By Steven Plaut
Freeman Center For Strategic Studies
September 16, 2011

As you know, much of the world is getting ready to recognize a “state”
for “Palestinians” in coming days. The US may veto the vote in the
Security Council to set up “Palestine” in Israeli lands, and then
again maybe it will not veto it. Other countries are going ahead with
plans to vote for “Palestine” in the General Assembly, to grant
“Palestine” embassy space, to grant it formal recognition, and so on.

After years of paying lip service to the righteous need for granting
“Palestinians” a state, Netanyahu and his cowardly crew are scratching
their heads about what to do and how to stop all this. The best Bibi
has come up with is a plan to give a speech in that building on the
East River near 42nd street.

SATIRE - PEACE AT LAST
by Steven Plaut
Freeman Center For Strategic Studies
April 28, 2011

It was in the year 2013. The Israelis at long last gave up their
attempts to resist the pressures of the world. Their newly elected
national unity government approved the plan. The Palestinians, led by
a coalition of the PLO and the Hamas, had already earlier announced
the creation of a Palestinian state. Israel’s Left had been holding
weekly protests in support of Palestinian statehood. When the UN had
officially and unanimously called for such a state, even the United
States of Barack Obama voted in favor.

The national unity government of Israel announced that Israel was
willing to accept the unanimous UN proposal for peace, supported by
every single country in the world. Israel would return to its
pre-1967 borders, remove all Jewish settlements from the territories
of the new state of Palestine, recognize Palestine, and grant
Palestine all of East Jerusalem, that is, all of the city located east
of a line running north-south through Zion Square, renamed Martyrs’
Square.

BIBLICAL POETRY BY EVELYN HAYES
Freeman Center For Strategic Studies
July 24, 2009

"Hard Labor; They Attack our Children Again,"

by Evelyn Hayes, author of The Plague Series,

because their hearts were softened to accept the unacceptable
Rosh Chodesh Av

July 22, 2009

The Jews chose His Higher Laws.

Abraham chose to be unlike every other nation

and he had followers out of the hell of Sodom and Gemorrah,

the crematories of Europe, the politics of appeasement, the turnspeak of unsettlement

He chose HASHEM, the Creator, and bereishit, it was good and better and better.

THE GAZA STRIP-TEASE
by Irwin N. Graulich
Freeman Center For Strategic Studies
January 11, 2009

Let's strip this fight down to the actual bare facts. You elect a Nazi-like terrorist government, (and I use the comparison precisely), whose primary goal and charter is the destruction of the state of Israel.

They create schools where textbooks expound on the concept of Jews and Christians being monkeys and enemies of Islam who must be destroyed. They establish summer camps that teach 7 year olds the virtues of becoming suicide bombers, actually constructing a sample vest model complete with dynamite sticks, in arts & crafts. They continue to publicly describe Jews on radio, tv and newspapers as something lower than vermin, all of whom must be exterminated.

They spend all their time building tunnels and smuggling weapons to kill innocent civilians in Israel, instead of building businesses and a better life. They fire rockets regularly into Israeli towns and cities to goad Israel into a short-lived response that ultimately becomes a pr coup. They have weekly parades attended by upwards of 100,000 people screaming, "We will destroy the Zionist criminal pigs," and much worse.

DECODING THE ARAB-ISRAELI CONFLICT
WHAT IS THE SITUATION LIKE?
by David Basch
FREEMAN CENTER FOR STRATEGIC STUDIES
November 29, 2008

Reading of the attempts of Olmert and Israeli leftist leaders to
deal with the Arab adversary, the following is how one can view the
essential characteristics of what is occurring.

WHAT IS THE ISRAELI SITUATION LIKE?

It resembles that of virulent jackals besetting the habitat of lambs.
In this analogy, the jackals are the Muslim Arabs; the lambs are the
Jewish/Israelis; the habitat is that of Israel. The analogy captures
the reality of implacable Muslim-Arabs intent on devouring the
Jewish/Israeli lambs and taking possession of their habitat and the
ineffectual attempts of the lambs to deal with the crisis using the
full extent of the intellectual resources of lambs.

MUSHROOMS
by Paul Eidelberg
Freeman Center For Strategic Studies
November 19, 2008

Molecular biologists contend that man is descended from mushrooms . Believe it . Some mushrooms have evolved into politicians . They flourish in Israel . Ever seen such bland politicians?

Because mushrooms lack chlorophyll, the’re destitute of color, and, like Israeli prime ministers, they crumble under the slightest pressure . Mushrooms, of course, are fungi, and many reproduce by asexual means . That’s pretty much the case of Israeli politicians: Israel ’s system of proportional representation produces an abundance of sterile politicians .

Some mushrooms are deadly . They're called "toadstools . " A weird assortment of such fungi populated Israel 's Knesset . The head of the Knesset's most numerous fungi forms Israel 's cabinet .

KING JAMES PRESS RELEASE: The Newly Arisen Obama

TIMES ONLINE - July 25, 2008
It has come to pass that BhusseinO, the Appointed Leader, meets the requirements for the Second Coming (or the First, depending on your faith).

He ventured forth to bring light unto the world.
The Anointed One's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to his faithful congregants.
===============
Times: 7,25
============
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was gracious in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a blessed white person and an African peasant. And yea, as He grew, The Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only an occasional detour into the odd weed or small confusion.

When He was twelve years old, they found Him in the Holy Temple of a Learned Priest in the City of Chicago, studying the heavenly wisdom of community organisation with the Prophet Jerewright and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that He opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

TRUE ORIGIN OF THE OSLO PLAN - NOT A PURIM STORY
ISRAEL AND THE CAMEL DUNG
A Jewish Parable
by Bernard J. Shapiro (1994)

On his deathbed Neville Chamberlain, former British Prime Minister, said the following to his son:
"Everything would have worked out OK if Hitler had not lied to me."
=============

The circumstances which led to this tale of ISRAEL AND THE CAMEL DUNG were first predicted by the wise men of Chelm sometime in the 18th century. It took 200 years and the revival of the Jewish State for this prediction to come true. At the time these wise men were dismissed as fools.

Sometime in the early 1990's there was a wise King of Israel named Peres the Brilliant. The most serious threat to Israel came from evil man named Yassir the Bloody. Now Peres wondered how he could make peace with Yasser so that Israel would be loved throughout the Middle East. He and his favorite advisor, Beilin the Poodle, set out the make peace and change the Middle East forever.

First they sent emissaries to Yassir and when they found that he was receptive, a meeting was scheduled. They couldn't meet in Israel so they chose the next best place, Oslo. When they all entered the meeting room, everyone noticed a smell coming from a package held by Yassir. Peres didn't want to insult Yassir but was very curious and the odor was a bit overpowering. As was normal, Peres whispered to his Poodle to ask the delicate question. So Beilin asked Yassir and the rest is history.

Israel's "Groundhog Day"
By Steven Shanok
American Thinker _ March 1, 2007
Freeman Center For Strategic Studies

Einstein Albert Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. [This perfectly describes the Israeli government.]
Einstein Albert Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

What would you do if you were stuck in one place, everything is the same, and nothing you did mattered?" This is the lament of TV weatherman Phil (played by actor Bill Murray) in the modern classic movie Groundhog Day.

Resentful over his yearly assignment of having to cover the Groundhog Day ceremonies in the small town of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, TV Phil is irritable and uncooperative with his news team, and increasingly sarcastic in his reporting. His behavior towards the local town people is condescending and dismissive. He just wants to finish and get out. But fate intervenes, as a snowstorm closes the road back to Pittsburgh and Phil must stay the night. When he awakes in the morning, it is still February 2, Groundhog Day, all over again, and again, and again. He is reliving the same day over and over and tries to tell his TV producer and anyone else who will listen that he has been there and done that, but they think he's loony and ignore his complaints.

The Israeli people are experiencing the same nightmarish time warp as TV Phil. Only the stakes are much higher, and the time warp far longer - the Israelis are reliving not the same day but the same decades over and over. And the reliving is not just a singular experience; the same nightmare is inherited from father and mother to son and daughter - dor l'dor, generation to generation.

Dear Prime Minister Olmert: Please do NOT stop the katyushas! (Letter from Haifa)

An Open Letter to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert
by Steven Plaut

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Dear Prime Minister Olmert:

I am writing this to you to beg that you NOT stop the katyushas from
falling on me and my family in Haifa by means of the proposed ceasefire.
I and my family, including my children, live in Haifa, which has been
hit by hundreds of rockets, out of the 4000 missiles fired into Israel these
past five weeks. The proposed ceasefire you evidently are considering
agreeing to is an Israeli capitulation. We do not believe it will lead to
the dismemberment of Hezbollah terrorism and arrest of terrorists. And, in
particular, it would cease the hostilities without the immediate return of
the two Israeli soldiers kidnapped by the Hezbollah terrorists.

THE CHOSEN PEOPLE

To: The Lord G-d Almighty a.k.a. Ha'shem, Shadai, Elohim, etc.
From: The Jews: a.k.a. The Chosen People
Subject: Termination of Contract/Special Status (Chosen People)

As you are aware, the contract made between you and Abraham is up for renewal, and this memorandum is to advise you that after, yea, those many millennia of consideration, we, the Jews (The Chosen People) have decided that we really do not wish to renew.

We should point out immediately that there is nothing in writing, and, contrary to popular beliefs, we (The Jews) have not really benefited too much from this arrangement. If you go back to the early years of our arrangement, it definitely started off on the wrong footing. Not only was Israel and Judea invaded almost every year, but we also went to enormous expense to erect not one but two Temples, and they were both destroyed.

NIGHTMARE INTO DREAM: BACK TO THE FUTURE
by Prof. Eugene Narrett
28 March 06, 28 Adar 5766

I must have been sleeping. I had this dream in which a leader of Israel said 'we have no beliefs, we have no traditions. We are tired of winning battles, we are tired of being brave......' It was March 2006.

No; it wasn't a dream: it was a nightmare. Then, by providence divine, my beloved pinched me and I woke up and it was early morning on June 05, 1967. Jews had been anxious for weeks as the Arab nations again massed their armed forces and vowed to soak the sands of Israel in blood, to drive all the Jews into the sea. Then Israel attacked Egypt and the forces of the armies of Israel swept across the Sinai to the Nile. Israel attacked Syria and Lebanon, liberating the Golan Heights and upper Galil, to Sidon. When the displaced Meccan sharif in Amman bombarded Jewish Jerusalem, Israel drove the trespassers out of Judea and Samaria and into the deserts beyond Moav and Ammon.

Wooing the Hamas
By Steven Plaut
january 29, 2006

Well, my earlier prediction was that the erection of an armed Hamas state
in the suburbs of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem might result in an awakening of
Israelis from their past 15 years of self-delusions. It is certainly not
evident yet that this is the case.

Let us catch up on what has happened since the Hamas victory in the
Palestinian "elections" was reported last week. First of all, the media inside and outside Israel continue to revealtheir nonfunctioning brains when it comes to the Middle East. They arealmost all attributing the Hamas victory to the "failure of the PLO todeliver public services" and to the fact that the Hamas is more efficient and competent in delivering such services.

HAMAS VICTORY - GOOD OR BAD FOR ISRAEL?

World Taken by Surprise
by Hamas Victory
IsraelNationalNews.com - January 26, 2006 / 26 Tevet 5766

As foreign governments attempt to formulate their reactions to the Hamas victory, informal talks are underway for a joint Hamas-Fatah government. Fatah is not enthusiastic. Amidst reports that Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas (Abu Mazen) is considering resigning - Prime Minister Abu Ala already resigned this morning - initial contacts are being made for a future PA government.

THE FREEMAN CENTER URGES CAUTION
ON THE ISRAEL PROJECT
by Bernard J. Shapiro

[Author’s Note: This article will be seen as very controversial by many. I have avoided giving the personal names of many of the people involved to protect myself and the Freeman Center from legal action (But they know who they are, and they know how accurate this report is.) The extreme anti-democratic left has a history of trying to suppress free speech through lawsuits and judicial prosecution. This has happened to a great degree in Israel and a lessor degree in America. As a Jew, a Texan, an America and a Zionist, I do not fear their money or their lawyers. I will always speak out on issues of Israel’s national security and survival.

This is a long and complicated article and one must read some of my supporting articles to understand the HARSH REALITIES. There is no shortcut to full understanding of the these important issues. ]
=================

During the last year a new, seemingly pro-Israel organization, THE ISRAEL PROJECT, has emerged on the American scene. It is well financed and has produced some wonderful brochures and solicitation letters urging American Jews to support its mission of improving Israel’s image in America and around the world. Of course, none of us disagrees with that mission. In fact, that has been my goal for over 46 years.

THE TALE OF THE MYSTIC BUFFALO
A Jewish Parable
By Bernard J. Shapiro

My interest in the history of the Old West has led me many times to study the buffalo. No creature in America, except possibly the horse, has had as much influence on the course of history as this noble animal. Standing over 6 feet at the shoulder, it was indeed and impressive creature. To the Native Americans of the Great Plains, the buffalo was the source of all their needs. They harvested food and clothes from the buffalo and even used their hides to construct their homes. It was common for a warrior, who had gone many days without finding water, to save his life by killing a buffalo. The warrior would cut out its heart and drink the blood trapped in its chambers. The blood provided enough liquid and nutrition to continue his journey. The buffalo was so important to the Indians that it was worshiped in their rituals and ceremonies.

THE MACCABEAN ONLINE
Published by the Freeman Center For Strategic Studies
VOLUME 13 B"H September 2005 NUMBER 8

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POLITICAL ANALYSIS AND COMMENTARY ON ISRAELI & JEWISH AFFAIRS
"For Zion's sake I will not hold My peace, And for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest"
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
September 2005

GAZA AND KATRINA - A Terrible Connection ....Editorial..... Bernard J. Shapiro

EGYPTIAN SECURITY DANGER AFTER EXPULSION OF JEWS
Egyptian Military on Gaza Border Threatens Israel's 'Edge'
Sharon Secretly Rewards Egypt with Naval Control of Gaza's Territorial Waters up to Ashkelon

THE AFTERMATH OF THE DISENGAGEMENT
THE 614th COMMANDMENT ....Boris Shusteff
A Road Map for the Right ....Michael Freund
Post-disengagement Impact Analysis ....Dr. Michael Anbar
The Gaza Betrayal ....Nissan Ratzlav-Katz
After The 'Disengagement' - Israel's Approaching 'Sickness Unto Death' ....Louis Rene Beres
DISENGAGEMENT FOR DUMMIES ....Gary Fitleberg
Betrayal of Historic Dimensions ....Asher Zelig Fried
The End of Mythology ....Caroline Glick

CORRUPTION IN ISRAEL
The "SHARON FILE: A RECORD OF CORRUPTION" ....Prof. Paul Eidelberg

ISRAELI POLITICS
A Winning Platform For The Likud ....Ted Belman
The Leadership of the National Camp Led Us Like Sheep to the Deportation ....Nadia Matar
Photo Essay: JEWS EXPEL JEWS
A Time To Weep ....Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson

AMERICAN PERFIDY
Abe Foxman's Defamation
OPEN LETTER TO THE OU, ADL AND MAJOR US JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS ....Marlene Young

HISTORY
ISRAEL, & WESTERN CIVILIZATION'S PROBLEM WITH HISTORY, MEMORY, & SURVIVAL ....Dr. Eugene Narrett

SATIRE
Peace At Last ....Steven Plaut
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THE MACCABEAN ONLINE [ISSN 1087-9404] Edited by Bernard J. Shapiro
Published Monthly by the FREEMAN CENTER FOR STRATEGIC STUDIES
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THE MACCABEAN ONLINE: URL: http://www.freeman.org/online.htm
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Copyright © 2005 Bernard J. Shapiro
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